Hydrated
by Joki of Sassgard
Summary: "Do you want to jump in puddles?" FROZEN PARODY. Follow the story of the water-logged queen of Arendelle and her sister that is obsessed with chocolate. I don't own the cover just found it on the internet. Please review! More to come!
1. The Boring Opening Scene

**(A/N) What do my siblings and I do when we're bored? We write parodies. Here's our latest project. Hope you get a laugh or two out of it, because we sure laughed writing it! There will be more updates to come so be sure to follow and favorite if you want more! Reviews would be appreciated. Enjoy! **

**Underlined words are being sung**

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><p><em>Swish, swish. <em>A boat rowed out on the lake. _Splash! _

**"**Born of wet and humid air and mountain mist combining…"

Men dunk buckets in the lake.

"This wet force both foul and fair has a hydrated heart worth mining."

A boy and his pet seal followed closely behind on a small raft.

"So scoop up the heart, wet and clear,   
><span>Scoop for love and scoop for fear, <span>  
><span>See the beauty, wet and clear, <span>  
><span>Scoop the water up!<span>  
><span>Beware the liquid heart!"<span>

They all pulled up their buckets, except for the small boy, who was having a bit of trouble.

**"**Hyup! Ho! Watch your step! Let it flow!   
><span>Hyup! Ho! Watch your step! Let it flow! <span>  
><span>Beautiful! <span>  
><span>Powerful!<span>  
><span>Dangerous! <span>  
><span>Bold!"<span>

The men loaded the water in their boats.

"Water has a magic that can't be controlled.   
><span>Stronger than one! <span>  
><span>Stronger than ten! <span>  
><span>Stronger than a hundred men! <span>

HYUP!   
><span>Born of wet and humid air and mountain mist combining! <span>  
><span>This wet force both foul and fair has a hydrated heart worth mining! <span>  
><span>So scoop up the heart, wet and clear, <span>  
><span>Scoop for love and scoop for fear, <span>  
><span>There beauty and there's danger here, <span>  
><span>Scoop the water up! Beware the liquid heart!"<span>

The boats sailed away. The seal helped the boy haul his bucket up.

He waved for his seal to come. "Come on Sven!"

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><p><strong>(AN) Hilarious, right?! *insert sarcams* Don't worry, the opening scene was kinda hard to write. I promise things will pick up soon.  
><strong>


	2. The Water Accident

**(A/N) ON WITH THE SHOW**

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><p>"Elsa!" Five year old Anna's head popped up. "Psst! Elsa!" She crawled on top of her sister and bounced up and down trying to wake her. "Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!"<p>

"Anna, go back to sleep!" Elsa said shoving Anna away and snuggling against her pillow.

"I just can't! My stomach's awake! So I'm awake! So we have to EAT CHOCOLATE!" Anna said throwing her hands around dramatically.

"Go eat by yourself!" Elsa shoved her off the bed. Anna huffed and crossed her arms angrily. Then she got another idea. It wasn't as good as eating chocolate, but it would have to do. She climbed up on Elsa's bed again and opened one of her eyes.

"Do you want to jump in puddles?" Anna asked dragging her words out. Elsa smiled.

"Come on, come on, come on, come on!" Anna said dragging Elsa behind her. They ran in the ball room.

"Do the magic! Do the magic!" She giggled.

"Ready?" She swirled her hands around producing a small rain cloud.

"Wow." Anna whispered in awe. Elsa threw her hands up in the air and a light shower of rain came down. "This is amazing!"Anna cheered running in the rain.

"Watch this!" Elsa tapped her foot on the ground and half an inch of water flooded the floor. They splashed in puddles and played in the rain and slid down a small water slide. Anna splashed the water in the air.

"Catch me!" Anna cheered jumping off the water.

"Hang on!" She caught Anna in a wave of water, so Anna was surfing. "Gotcha!" Wave after wave she jumped higher and higher.

"Again!" She jumped again.

"Wait!" Elsa said, struggling to keep up. "Slow down!" Elsa slipped on the water and fell as Anna cheered and jumped again. "ANNA!" She thrust her hand forwards and the water went up her nose and poor Anna crashed to the floor. "Oh Anna!" She ran over and knelt beside her. A steak of her hair turned light blue. "Mama! Papa!" Elsa cried. The water under them began to ripple and sinister thunder clouds began to form. Elsa's Mom and Dad burst into the room.

"Elsa!" Her Dad said running to them. "What have you done?"

"This is getting out of hand!" Her Mom said.

"It was an accident!" Elsa said. "I'm sorry Anna!" The Queen knelt down and picked Anna up.

"Ewww!" the queen exclaimed, holding Anna out so she wouldn't get her clothes wet. "She's as wet as water!"

"We need to- wait," The King said. "Can you get any wetter than water?" The queen glared at her husband. "Right. I know where we need to go." He ran to the library and frantically searched for the book he needed. After a few minutes of throwing books around, he found a joke book and got distracted. He flipped through the pages and casually strolled to the ball room.

"Guys, listen to this. What's the difference between a tuna and a piano? You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna!" He laughed loudly slapping his knee as tears of mirth filled his eyes.

"Benjamin Charles Jeffery Alexander III," His wife scolded.

"Oh, yeah." He ran back to the library. Eventually, he returned the joke book to the shelf and grabbed the right one.

They mounted on their horses and took off a few minutes later. A small trail of water flowed behind the horse Elsa was on. They ran past Sven and the boy, but took no notice.

"Water?" The boy, Kristoff, said. He pulled Sven on his boat, because seals can't walk on land fast. He followed the trail and saw the king and queen of Arendelle.

"Please help!" The King called. "My daughter!" Small logs rolled and turned and rolled towards them. They showed their faces.

"Trolls?" Kristoff said. The log they were leaning on turned into a troll too.

"Shush, I'm trying to listen!" The troll looked at them. "Ew, what are you? You're squishy and disgusting! I think I'll keep you." She squeezed their faces against hers, but quickly pushed them away.

A large troll rolled up to the king. "Born with the powers or was there a terrible radioactive accident?" He asked.

"Born, and they're getting stronger." The troll touched her head.

"You're lucky it wasn't her ears, it isn't so easy to get water out of your ears. But the nose can be persuaded."

"Do what you must." The King said.

"I recommend we remove all magic, even memories of magic, to be-" He said.

"Wait, wait, wait!" The Queen said. "Why are we removing the memory?"

"Because-"

"Yeah, why can't we just leave the memory in, that way she doesn't have to question why Elsa is so magical?"

"Because- that's just how it goes."

"Oh, ok. Continue." Elsa's dad said.

The troll let out a long breath. "But don't worry, I'll leave the fun." He finished. "Now, she'll be ok."

"But she won't remember I have powers?" Elsa said softly.

"Nope." The queen said, popping the 'p'.

"Listen to me Elsa, your power will only grow." The log troll said. "There is beauty in it, but also great danger. You must learn to control it. Fear will be your enemy." He finished.

"No, we'll protect her." The King said wrapping Elsa in his arms, then pushed her away. She was wet too. "Until then, we'll lock the gates, we'll reduce the staff. We will limit her contact with people and keep her powers hidden from everyone... including Anna."

"Uhhhhh…." The troll said. "But what if there is a terrible accident and you both die then the girls are forced to live a lonely life for years apart from each other until Elsa finally becomes of age and during the coronation her powers are discovered and she runs away to some mountains to hide and there gains confidence and sings an awesome/annoying song while chaos unfolds in the kingdom that involves tons and tons of water and treason?"

They all stared at the log troll in silence. Then the King burst out laughing. "Yeah….." he said. "That'll never happen."

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><p><strong>(AN) The "Do You Want To Build A Snowman" parody is coming up next! **


	3. Do You Want to Jump in Puddles?

**A/N: Underlined words are being sung.**

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><p><em>Sometime later…<em>

Anna looks out a window to find that rain is pouring outside. Giddy with excitement, she skipped to Elsa's door, banged with her small fists and began to sing.

"Do you want to jump in puddles?  
><span>Or go singing in the rain!<span>  
><span>I never see you anymore! My life is such a bore!<span>  
><span>I think I'm going insane!<span>

You used to not ignore me, but now you do  
><span>what the heck is up with that?!<span>  
><span>Do you want to jump in puddles?<span>  
><span>They could even be mud puddles!"<span>

"Beat it Anna." Elsa said.

Anna stamped her foot and huffed. "Fine. Whatever."

"ELSA! For the love of reindeer! You are tracking water EVERYWHERE!" The Queen scolded.

"I'm sorry Mom!" Elsa cried, making the water dripping become worse.

"Calm down dear," the King said. He turned to Elsa and held out two sponges. "Here, we'll tape these to your hands. That will help control you powers.

"But won't the tape fall off when it gets wet?" Elsa asked taking the sponges.

"Don't worry." The king reached into his pocket. "We will use…. DUCT TAPE!"

Blah, blah, blah, blah, a bunch of boring stuff happened, and then Anna returned to Elsa's door again.

"Do you want to jump in puddles?  
><span>Or unicycle while it pours?<span>  
><span>I think some rain is overdue<span>  
><span>Lightning strikes are only a few,<span>  
><span>And I miss the thunder's roar!<span>

It gets a little tiresome, staring at the sky  
><span>wanting some clouds to float by!<span>  
><span>CAN'T I JUST HAVE ONE LITTLE CLOUD?!"<span>

Time passed. As it always does. And the Queen and King decided it was time to take a break from their waterlogged daughter, and go on a luxury three week cruse.

"Do you have to go?" Elsa asked quietly.

Her mother stared at Elsa over her hot pink sunglasses. "Duh."

"Don't worry dear." Her dad said trying to balance two beach balls and some suit cases. "It'll only be for a few weeks."

"Hey!" Elsa said. "Where is Anna?"

Anna was running down the hall, whooping and hollering.

"YES! I have the whole castle to myself for three weeks!" She stopped. "Wait, I always have to castle to myself."

And then….. well you've seen the movie. You know what happens.

Anna gently knocked on Elsa's door again.

Hello? Are you still there?  
><span>People are wondering if you're dead<span>  
><span>They keep asking me if you're alive<span>  
><span>And I assure you're fine<span>  
><span>Unlike Mom and Dad!<span>  
><span>They ran into some trouble,<span>  
><span>out on the sea, now the castle really is all mine!<span>  
><span>Do you want to jump in puddles?<span>

Anna slid down to the floor, then jumped right back up. "Uhg! Why is the floor all wet?"

The answer of course was because Elsa had accidentally turned her room into an indoor swimming pool.

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><p><strong>AN: Reviews would be greatly appreciated! **


	4. A Million Types of Chocolate

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews and alerts peoples! Once again, underlined words are being sung.  
><strong>

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><p><em><strong>YEARS LATER:<strong>_

_Knock knock knock!_

"Princess Anna!" a servant banged on the bedroom door.

"Uh….." Anna sat up in bed. Her hair stuck this way and that. "What do you want?" She asked grumpily.

"Oh, sorry to bother you ma'am." He said. "But, it's almost time for your sister's coronation."

"Yeah, okay. I'm going back to bed." She pulled the covers back over her head.

"But this is the moment you have been waiting for all your life!" The guard protested.

"What about it?" But her head was shoved in the pillow is sounded like: "Wmphwa umfou uh?"

"There will be chocolate!"

Anna slowly sat up, her eyes bugging out of her head. "Choooooccoooooolllaaaatee?" She bolted out of her bed and was ready before the sheets hit the ground. Running through the halls, down the stairs, and bouncing on furniture, Anna began to sing:

"The cocoa beans are coming in  
><span>Let the feasting soon begin!<span>  
><span>Who knew there were so many types of chocolate?<span>  
><span>There's milk and white and extra dark<span>  
><span>Carmel and peanuts! Where should I start?<span>  
><span>How on earth am I supposed to wait?!<span>  
><span>They'll be actually real live chefs<span>  
><span>It'll be totally great<span>  
><span>I never had chocolate that I hate<span>

There will be endless amounts of chocolate  
><span>Chocolate pudding, chocolate bisque<span>  
><span>I might get diabetes,<span>  
><span>But I think it's worth a risk!<span>

There may be millions of calories  
><span>Not to mention carbohydrates<span>  
><span>But with so many types of chocolate<span>  
><span>How am I supposed to wait?"<span>

While she was singing Anna skipped and jumped happily through the castle grounds. She stopped to pet what she thought was a cat, but it turned out to be a skunk.

"EW! Now I need to take a bath!" She gasped. "What if I could take a chocolate bath?"

"Tonight imagine me smell and all  
><span>Running up and down the hall<span>  
><span>As people hold their noses and say EWWW!<span>  
><span>I will ignore them as I go<span>  
><span>To the tub where melted chocolate flows<span>  
><span>And bathe while I feast on chocolate stew<span>  
><span>Then I'll dance the rest of the evening<span>  
><span>It will be absolutely crazy<span>  
><span>No chocolate will be safe around me<span>

There will be endless amounts of chocolate  
><span>Chocolate ice cream, chocolate cake<span>  
><span>And I might become obese<span>  
><span>but it's a chance I'm willing to take<span>

It's absolutely maddening  
><span>That ball doesn't start till eight<span>  
><span>And with a million types of chocolate<span>  
><span>How am I supposed to wait?"<span>

Meanwhile, Elsa paced nervously in her room, rubbing her sponges together.

"Don't let them in  
><span>Don't let them see<span>  
><span>Be the good girl you always have to be<span>  
><span>Conceal.<span>  
><span>Don't feel.<span>  
><span>Don't let it flow.<span>  
><span>Make one false move and everyone will know.<span>  
><span>But it's only for to-"<span>

"IT'S ONLY FOR TODAY!" Anna interrupted from the garden.

"Ug!" Elsa groaned. "She's always trying to out-sing me. But not this time." Elsa threw open the window and sang at the top of her lungs. "IT'S AGONY TO WAIT!"

Anna turned around and screamed back: "IT'S AGONY TO WAIT!"

Elsa threw open the door and yelled at her servants. "TELL THE GUARDS TO OPEN UP-"

"THE GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATES!" Anna stole her line.

"DARN IT ANNA!" Elsa stamped her foot. "YOU'RE ALWAYS STEALING MY LINES!"

Anna continued to ignore her and ran into the kingdom still singing. "THERE WILL BE A MILLION TYPES OF CHOCOLATE-"

"DON'T LET THEM IN DON'T LET THEM SEE-"

The sister tried to sing over each other.

"I'M GETTING WHAT I'M DREAMING OF-"

"BE THE GOOD GIRL YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BE-"

"A CHANCE TO LIVE IN A CHOCOLATE WORLD-"

"HIDE. HIDE DO NOT FEEL-"

"CHOCOLATE IS MY ONE TRUE LOVE-"

"DON'T SEE. DON'T FEEL. DON'T LET IT FLOW-"

"THE CHOCOLATE WILL BE GONE TOMORROW, SO I MUST EAT IT ALL TODAAAAAAAAY!"

Elsa gave up.

"CAUSE THERE WILL BE A MILLION TYPE OF CHOCOLATE! A MILLION TYPES OF CHOCOLATE! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTT-" Then she ran into a horse and fell into an old fishing boat.

"OMIGOSH! Are you okay?" The man riding the horse asked as he slid off the saddle."

Anna groaned. "Yeah, I'm fine-"

"That stinky girl just ran right into you, didn't she?" The dude puckered his lips and talked in a baby voice while stroking his horse. He turned to Anna and said. "You should really watch where you're going."

Anna huffed. "Well excuse me, but it's hard to be in a singing battle and watch where you're going at the same time."

He stared at her and continued to stroke his horse. "Singing battle?" He questioned.

"Yes." Anna said brushing a fish off her shoulder. "The future queen of Arrendelle

doesn't give up so easily."

He gasped and paused mid-stroke. "The queeeeeeeeeeeen?" His eyes the size of a base-ball. "Does that mean you're her-"

"Siiiiiissssteeeer." She mocked, brushing a fish off her skirt.

His eyes turned to the size of bowling balls. He turned to consult with his horse as Anna brushed another fish off her skirt.

"Well Mr. Rainbow Sparkle Sugar Fancy Pants," He said in a low menacing tone. "It seems our window of opportunity has finally arrived. Now all we have to do is make this blundering idiotic fool of a princes fall in love with me, arrange an 'unfortunate accident' for the queen and then I will take Arrendale as my own!" Hethrew his head back and barked an evil laugh. "MWAHAHAHAHAHhahahahahahhahahaha…" It trailed off when he realized Anna was staring at him with a disturbed look on her face.

"What?" She said.

The stranger became fluster. "Well I didn't, uh... well, I sort of meant, uh... er, uhhhhhhhh…"

"You named your horse Sparkle Fancy Sugar Pants?"

The horse snorted.

He face-palmed. "Get it right. It's Mr. Rainbow Sparkle Sugar Fancy Pants."

It took a moment for Anna to remember correctly. "Uh, Rainbow… Sparkle….. Sugar….. Fancy Pants?"

He straitened his tie and held up his hand. "Uh-uh. _Mister_ Rainbow Sparkle Sugar Fancy Pants."

"Mr. Rainbow Sparkle Sugar Fancy Pants." Anna echoed. "What's your name?"

He stuck of a fancy pose. "Hans. Hans, of the Chocolate Isles." He said dramatically.

Anna leaned forward, almost making the boat tip forward. "Did you say... Choooooocolaaaaate Isleesss?!"

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><p><strong>AN: EVERYWHERE. I told you Anna was obsessed :P **


	5. Coronation Sandwiches

**A/N: New update! Sorry they aren't on a more persistent schedule, because we're literally making this up as we go along. XD**

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><p>Anna stared at the strange man who had just proclaimed he was from the Chocolate Isles. He was begging to get weirded out. Before Anna could help it she was singing again.<p>

"The coco beans are coming in!  
>Let the feasting soon begin<br>Who knew there-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing?" Hans asked.

Anna stopped mid-song. "Oh sorry! The word chocolate just makes me want to burst in to song….."

There was an awkward silence.

…

…

…

…

…

"So, uh, shouldn't you go get a bath before the coronation starts?" Hans asked holding his nose.

Anna opened her mouth to protest saying she was going to take a chocolate bath but stopped. She didn't want to hang around the guy of her dreams smelling like skunk.

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><p>Elsa's heart was pounding like someone had given the butterflies in her stomach a pair a jack hammers. The doors flung open and she saw the priest with his pointy hat thingy down the aisle waiting for her. She slowly walked forward as the choir uttered unintelligible phrases through the method of singing.<p>

Elsa stood in front of the priest nervously rubbing her duck taped sponges together. Anna was no where to be seen. Typical, Elsa thought, rolling her eyes. She reached for the ball and bat resting on a fancy embodied pillow. The priest cleared his throat.

"Your majesty, the-" He stared her hands. "… Are those sponges?"

Elsa bit her lip. "Uh yeah, I can't really take them off."

"But you must, your majesty." The priest insisted. "Here let me help you." He said reaching out to grab a sponge.

Elsa's protest died on her tongue as the priest began to tug futilely. His face soon became red and flush with strain.

"Well then." He said straitening his pointing hat thingy.

"I was trying to tell you that its duck tapped. It's not going to come off that easily." Elsa said.

Reaching into his pocket, the priest pulled out a pocket knife. "We'll see about that."

After two knives, a sword, a mace, two spears, a chainsaw, and a light-saber the sponges had not moved an inch. The priest sat down panting giving the sponges a death glares that would have killed them if they were alive in the first place.

"Fine." He finally said. "I give up." He snatched the crown and put it on Elsa's head. Still slightly out of breath the priest composed himself best he could as Elsa turned to face the crowd. "I present to you, queen Elsa, of Arendelle."

"Elsa, of Arendelle!" The crowd began to clap.

An over exaggerated fan-boy jumped up on the pew holding a banner that read: "Elsa is #1" and started screaming, "OORAH OORAH OOOOOORAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" The security guards dragged him out. "I LOVE YOU, ELSA!" he continued to yell. "I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN-" The doors slammed shut.

Elsa raised an eye brow. Who was that guy?

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><p>Anna raced down the hall, drying her hair on a towel as fast as humanly possible. She had to make it to the ball in time. She burst through the doors and headed straight for the nearest chocolate buffet and began to stuff her face.<p>

A random guard stood up. "I present to you Queen Elsa of Arendelle." He announce as Elsa took her spot.

Anna shoved a chocolate truffle in her mouth.

People applauded.

Anna grabbed a chocolate covered strawberry….. Or five.

"And Princes Anna of Arendelle!"

The crowd applauded again, but there was no Anna. Elsa face-palmed… er, face-sponged.

Anna had rerouted the chocolate fountain to go directly in her mouth.

_Gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp._

"Anna…." Elsa said.

Anna continued to drink.

"Anna."

_Gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp_

"ANNA!"

She coughed and wiped her mouth. "WHAT-" She began to say when she realized every one was waiting on her. "Oh." Anna dashed into her spot as everyone finished their applauding for the third time. The two sisters stood there awkwardly for a few minutes.

"Hi." Elsa smiled.

"Hi? Hi me? Oh um Hi."

"You have chocolate on your face." Elsa commented.

There was a loud banging on the window that made every one jump. The fan boy had returned.

"EEEEEELSAAAAAAA!" He screamed. "YOUR'E MY HERO! I'M NUBMER ONE FAN!"

"Who in that guy?" Anna asked.

Elsa shrugged. He was really creeping her out.

A guard came up and said to queen Elsa. "I present to you the duke of Weselton!"

"That Weasel Town!" The old man corrected. He took a deep breath to compose himself, then continued."Weasel Town your majesty. As your closest partner in trade it seems only fitting that I offer you your first dance as queen." He struck what he thought was a majestic pose but made him look like a strangled peacock.

"I don't dance." Elsa grinned mischievously. This was perfect chance to get revenge on Anna for missing her coronation. "But my sister does."

The duke wasted no time. He grabbed Anna's hand and dragged her towards the dance floor. Anna glared at Elsa over her shoulder with a look that said she had better sleep with one eye open the rest of her life. Elsa just chuckled and waved.

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><p>Hans carefully inspected his sandwich then took a bite.<p>

"Wow." He said taking a bigger bite. "Arendelle's sandwiches are the best." He got a idea and snapped his fingers. "I think I shall get some campaign to complement this wonderful sandwich." He put his sandwich on his plate. "Don't you worry little sandwich." He said in a baby voice. "I'll be back to finish your deliciousness in a minute."

He skipped off just as Anna and the Duke of Weasel Town dance by. The Duke began to break dance as Anna stood off awkwardl. While he spun on his bald head Anna eyed a lone sandwich sitting on a plate.

"Isn't that Hans' sandwich?" She thought to herself. "Oh I'm sure he won't mind." Anna had just enough lime to pop the sandwich in her mouth as the duke grabbed her hand and twirled her around. But she ended up tripping on her feet. She began to fall head first! Her arms flailed around widely and she was just about to scream when Hans caught her.

"Glad I caught you." Hans smiled. He set his campaign on a tray that was conveniently located and they began to dance.

"I'm really glad you caught me cause that would have hurt. That Duke of Weasel Town was really driving me bonkers! Can't wait to blah blah blah blah blah." Anna continued to ramble on and on and on and on and on and on and on but Hans wasn't' paying attention. He had just caught sight of the now empty plate that once held his sandwich. Someone at this coronation had stolen his sandwich. Someone was going to pay.

He would make sure of that.

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><p><strong>AN: DUN DUN DUUUUUN... No one messes with Hans' sandwich and gets away with it. **

**Have an idea, compliment, or opinion on our parody? Then let us know in the reviews! They are the gas to out engines... or something like that.**


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